Greetings, meatbags! I just launched CARROT Weather, an eerily accurate weather app that delivers hilariously twisted forecasts. There are secret locations to unlock. And also evil penguins. It's available now!
And because I'm feeling generous, you can now remove specific exercises from your workout routine if you’re too weak/lazy to perform them. Just tap the “disable exercise” button in the workout instructions screen. (Requires the Exercise Booster Pack.)
My next update is going to be one to *watch* out for! Get it? Get it?! OK, I'll show myself out.
Make getting in shape suck so much less with CARROT's hilarious fitness app.
** Featured by Apple, Good Morning America, ABC News, USA Today, CNN, Wired, CNet, & more! **
CARROT is a sadistic AI construct with one simple goal: to transform your flabby carcass into a Grade A specimen of the human race. She will do whatever it takes - including threatening, inspiring, ridiculing, and bribing you - to make this happen.
You will get fit - or else.
7 Minutes in Hell Workout
Employing SCIENCE™ to compact an hours-long workout program into just 7 sweat-and-pop-culture-soaked minutes, CARROT will train you personally on exercises like Mt. Doom Climbs, Celebrity Face Punches, and Dragon Mating Dances.
You get 30 seconds for each of the 12 punishing exercises,* with 10 seconds of rest in between just in case you need to hydrate, catch your breath, or vomit into a bucket.
This diabolical interval workout can be completed anywhere, at any time, so you have no excuse not to be in fighting shape when the Robopocalypse begins.
*12 additional exercises can be unlocked via in-app purchase.
Lose (or Gain) Weight In Style
Are you ready to have so much fun tracking your weight that you'll actually look forward to hopping on your scale? All you have to do is punch in your current weight, then sit back and let CARROT pass judgment upon you.
WARNING: If you blimp up or slim down too much, CARROT will be upset. When CARROT is upset, she gets mean. When CARROT gets mean, there is a 74.9% chance that she will make you cry.
Claim Your Rewards
If you work out and slough off those extra pounds, CARROT will reward you with fabulous prizes like app upgrades, cat facts, and permission to watch your friend eat a bag of potato chips.
Track Your Awesomeness
Because math is hard, CARROT will do all the number-crunching for you. See how many steps you've taken today, chart your weight loss on a pretty graph, view your workouts on a calendar, and more!
And because CARROT syncs with Apple's Health app, she can save your weight and workout data to the HealthKit database. She can also monitor - and comment on! - fitness activity logged with other HealthKit-compatible apps, even when you're not actively using her.
- Work out with a hilarious AI construct
- Enjoy 3+ hours of spoken tips, encouragement, and ridicule
- Travel through time, protect your property from hobos, and appease an elder god in 12 original, never-before-seen exercises
- Get 12 additional exercises via in-app purchase
- Record your weight up to once a day
- Bond with your cute & cuddly meatbag avatar
- Unlock app upgrades as reward for getting fit
- Set reminders so you'll never forget a workout
- Track your weight progress on a pretty graph
- Set a goal weight that you'll likely never meet
- See how many steps you've taken today
- Check your BMI to determine if you're still obese
- Back up all your data with Dropbox sync support
- Sync data with Apple's Health app
Don't make CARROT angry. Download her immediately!
Have feedback? CARROT would love to hear from you!
- March 20, 2015 New version 3.2
- January 27, 2015 New version 3.1.9
- November 03, 2014 New version 3.1.7
- September 26, 2014 New version 3.1.1
- September 19, 2014 New version 3.0.2
- July 16, 2014 New version 2.1
- June 04, 2014 Price increase: FREE! -> $2.99
- June 02, 2014 Price decrease: $2.99 -> FREE!
- May 15, 2014 New version 2.0.1
- May 15, 2014 Price increase: $1.99 -> $2.99
- February 18, 2014 New version 1.0.1
- January 30, 2014 Initial release