Zie Invades The Earth Review

With its bizarre but immediately understandable premise, retro game look, dead simple gameplay, and general sense of humor, Zie Invades the Earth has all the ingredients of a great McPixel stage or WarioWare micro-game. Stretched out into a full app though, it doesn’t have quite the same impact.

In Zie Invades the Earth, players control the eponymous extra-terrestrial as it literally steals candy from babies. That’s the game. Players hold the screen to creep up on babies and snatch away their lollipops. Really.

Granted, there are some obstacles in the way that make this harder than everyone says. Kids usually have some sort of caregiver (no unaccompanied minors to prey upon here) and occasionally these killjoys turn around to actually look at their young. If they catch you, you’ll lose a life, so you have to pay attention to their speech bubbles to predict their next move. To hide, simply stop moving to activate your cloaking device. However, Zie only has a limited amount of energy, and as it runs down that removes lives as well. So players have to be quick and careful to maximize their score before their inevitable death.

Initially the mechanic does a great job reinforcing the inherently comedic scenario. But all the jokes in the world can’t hide how ultimately shallow the gameplay is. Once players figure out the basic rhythm it’s just a matter of mindless executing it. Run, wait, run, wait, steal, and start over. There are three different levels in different locations but the goal remains the same. Continuing the Wario comparisons, it’s actually very similar to the “Gamer” mini-game in Game & Wario that recently became a Super Smash Bros. stage. The visuals also have a certain Nintendo vibe. Watching aliens terrorize children in cheery 16-bit American small towns evokes EarthBound nostalgia. But again, cool trappings and potential reference points can’t fix the core issues.

As far as monotonous time-wasters on the App Store go, at least Zie Invades the Earth has an entertaining and overwhelming quirkiness. But don’t expect it to invade your life for more than a few sessions.