Take My Machete Review
iPhone App
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Take My Machete Review

Our Review by Jennifer Allen on January 31st, 2013
Rating: starstarstarblankstarblankstar :: 8-BIT SLASHING
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Take My Machete offers plenty of charm to a well trodden genre, it just lacks tight and accurate controls.

Developer: Upper Class Walrus
Price: FREE
Version Reviewed: 1.01
Device Reviewed On: iPhone 5

Graphics / Sound Rating: starstarstarhalfstarblankstar
Gameplay Rating: starstarstarblankstarblankstar
Playtime Rating: starstarstarhalfstarblankstar
Replay Value Rating: starstarhalfstarblankstarblankstar

Overall Rating: starstarstarblankstarblankstar


There's a lot about Take My Machete that feels like a homage to days gone by of gaming. There's the obvious, in the case of the old school graphics and beat em up focused gameplay akin to Streets of Rage, but there are the more subtle nods too, like how the player's face is gradually more and more bloodied to represent their health, a la Doom.

It's these attractive qualities that make one warm to Take My Machete, even despite its occasionally sloppy controls and brief story mode. Of course, the fact it's free certainly helps here, although with less than essential in-app purchases, I can't see the developer turning much of a profit.

Players take the role of the member of a band who must destroy the alien hordes, in order to find their musical instruments. It's as quirky as it sounds but the key purpose is familiar: hunt down aliens and kill them either with a machete or a bow and arrow. Despite the title, the bow and arrow quickly proves the most successful weapon, mostly due to the influx of flying enemies. This is also where the controls feel rather loose. A fairly small set of buttons dictate movement, chopping and using items. It's all too easy to miss a relevant button amongst the action, and Take My Machete would immediately benefit from more relaxed floating controls. Firing the bow and arrow involves dragging back a finger to line up the shot, something that can prove cumbersome in the heat of the battle.

It's a shame that such issues get in the way of what could be a fun title. Take My Machete has the brains to offer boss battles that require some thought and pattern recognition, but not quite the brains for tightly written controls. Take My Machete is worth a look, given it costs nothing to play, but I can't see it lasting as more than a mild distraction for many.

Take My Machete screenshot 1 Take My Machete screenshot 2 Take My Machete screenshot 3 Take My Machete screenshot 4 Take My Machete screenshot 5
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