Developer: Mind Pirate
Price: FREE
Version Reviewed: 1.1
App Reviewed on: iPhone 5

Graphics / Sound Rating: ★★★☆☆
Gameplay Rating: ★★★☆☆
Playtime Rating: ★★★☆☆
Replay Value Rating: ★★★☆☆

Overall Rating: ★★★☆☆

The schoolhouse traditionally yields few pleasurable sounds, but there is one we can all relate to: The lusty cry of “FOOD FIGHT,” which instantly transforms sleepy, cud-chewing children into sandwich-flinging warriors. Global Food Fight by Mind Pirate aims to recapture the magic of combing mayonnaise out of our hair, but the game’s rough graphics repetitive gameplay hold it back from being pie-in-the-face magical.

foodfight_02Participating in Global Food Fight isn’t simply a matter of pelting the class bully with a stale doughnut. No, this is all-out global warfare. Players are presented with a floating menu of food fight participants, including Facebook friends, Twitter pals, and “celebrities.” A slingshot is loaded with some manner of foodstuff, including pastries, tomatoes, and onions. The player then takes aim at their target and lets fly. The projectile goes soaring through the air in search of its quarry. During this time, the player can move their device forward and backward to collect coins and items, and avoid objects that may keep them from collecting said bonuses. Finally, the food item falls beneath the clouds and zeroes in on its target.

Once the target sees an onion zooming in on them from afar, they start to run. The player must tilt their device to bring their tomato, etc, in for a sloppy landing against their rival’s face. But since the hunted can set up defenses like trees, birds, cars, and acorn-throwing squirrels, it’s harder than it sounds. Victory, if achieved, brings coins and good feelings.

foodfight_04Global Food Fight is good for a few laughs, but there are two problems. First, the low-poly graphics are rough, unappealing, and don’t really capture the hearty splat that should come with a food fight. Moreover, low-res facial textures are stretched over the model and make the whole production look like a first generation PSOne game. Second, Global Food Fight just doesn’t stay interesting for long. Players fling food, guide it as it flies through the sky, and hit people with it. It’s admittedly intriguing to be able to set up defenses against other people’s attacks, but the experience wears thin after a handful of flings.

Nevertheless, food fight fanatics should be able to have a bit of fun with Global Food Fight until the lack of variety sends them off in search of meatier fare.

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