App Reviewed on: iPhone 4
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It is a story as old as time... Crab meets gold, crab falls madly in love with its shiny luster, then dreams of spending the rest of their lives together. There is only one obstacle that will prevent this eternal love from being everlasting: coconuts. Really, this is the only way that one could really wrap their brain around the mechanics of Coconut Dodge.
Just as the name would imply, your main character, which just so happens to be a crab, is wandering from left to right across a beachfront, trying to avoid coconuts that are apparently raining down from the heavens. Scattered amongst this falling debris are assorted treasures in the form of gold bricks and goblets, diamonds, and the occasional ruby or two. While these items jettison towards the ground with ever increasing rates of speed, the task of navigating the sand covered minefield becomes more and more difficult, ultimately resulting in your demise. But you continue to trudge on, all in the name of GOLD!
That, in a nutshell, is virtually all that can be said about Coconut Dodge because, to put it quite bluntly, that is everything there is to the game. All that you really get to see is a crab scuttling from left to right across the screen, all the while trying to match your last high score. The problem is that these scores are not propagated via GameCenter, but rather Facebook of all things. This is a curious choice to say the least, but really, what else would you expect from a game that centers around the shenanigans of a meandering crustacean.
The videogame equivalent of War and Peace, this is not. What you can expect is to waste a few minutes of your life, enjoying the antics of a crazy Caribbean crab, just looking to get his share of a small fortune. It is the kind of distraction that anyone can appreciate, as long as they are not setting the bar of expectations too high. Scuttle out to the App Store and give it a chance. You may be surprised at what you find.