Bloody Harry Review

Anyone who has ever had the great fortune of stumbling across an episode of Fox’s hit show Hell’s Kitchen knows that chefs are known for two things: incessant self-narration and bouts of uncontrollable anger. One day in the kitchen of Bloody Harry (who ironically doesn’t wear a hairnet in the kitchen, despite his rather impressive beard), his vegetables decided to sprout legs and start acting all zombified. Yep, that is an actual game premise. Sigh…

As one might imagine, Harry takes exception to his produce walking out of him and does what any other rage fueled sociopath would do: reaches for his nearest firearm. What follows could only be accurately described in the same terms used to break down the fever dream of an escaped mental patient. Harry sets out to rid the world of these zombie veggies, using a large arsenal of unlockable side arms, including the likes of machine guns, chainsaws, and even LIGHTSABERS. Just when you thought a game had jumped the shark, it goes and totally redeems itself!

All kidding aside, Bloody Harry is a side scrolling two dimensional action/brawler, consisting of two, simple to grasp mechanics: melee and shoot. Everything else boils down to a glorified bob and weave around adversaries, while trying to dispatch of as many as possible, before the horde grows unmanageable. At the end of each stage the cash that these garden variety mutants have somehow acquired, can be used to purchase new weapons and perks. These items ultimately help to fend off masses of melons, eager to graduate from vegetarian to carnivore.

At first the action is amusing and fun, but as the stages drag on it comes very apparent that things are never going to evolve beyond the basic game mechanics. For example, there are only two level maps that are just reused over and over again. Though the game might be visually two dimensional, everything else is painfully one dimensional.

Look up “one-trick pony” in the dictionary and aside from a reference to an ill-fated Paul Simon film project, Bloody Harry should be listed. It may not be bad in any particular respect, but it doesn’t strive to be anything remarkable either. Freemium may have been a better track for a game like this, because it probably isn’t worth dropping a buck on.

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