Star Wars Day sucks in general, but especially on mobile

There was a time when Star Wars was good, and that's when there was a lot less of it. Those first three films? Awesome stuff. Everything after that? Well... I won't condemn all of it, but the vast majority of it is so tepid and uninspired that I no longer am interested in just about anything going on in that universe (or at least anything that doesn't revolve around Cassian Andor).

This makes the already irritating concept of "Star Wars Day" even more annoying, because on top of it being a day conceived entirely because of some corny wordplay, what is there to celebrate, exactly? That the $100+ billion company that now controls the destiny one of the most iconic fictional worlds ever seems intent on making you sick of it by pumping out branded garbage constantly?

We're three graphs in here and I need to stay on brand: This is a mobile site, so let me just say that there's probably no other landscape where the idea of Star Wars Day rings so hollow. In case you aren't aware, the catalog of Star Wars games on iOS is currently a paltry list of free-to-play garbage, LEGO games (none of these have ever been fun!), and exactly two legitimately great games that are basically ancient at this point and are better enjoyed elsewhere. Oh, and there's pinball. Pinball's cool, but it's still pinball.

This is a pitiful state for such a powerhouse to be in. Even the garbage can't find a way to stick around! I expect this kind of thing from most other branded shovelware operations, but I guess it's just too difficult to make a modern Star Wars game on mobile that can justify staying playable more than a year or two. It's pathetic. I'm not even talking about the game being good! Just something people might dump enough money into to keep the dang thing listed seems like a bar that is too high.

Anyway, I think I've made my point. Disney seems like it has completely lost interest in the quality of one of its most valuable products, which can be seen most clearly on the "race to the bottom" platform. There is nothing here to see or do to celebrate Star Wars on May 4 or otherwise. These aren't the games you're looking for. Fire up A New Hope instead. Or, if you need to do something on iOS, use Steam Link or RetroArch to find something actually good to play.

Think I'm wrong about any of this? Great! I'd love to be disproven. If you find a good Star Wars game on iOS I'd love to hear about it: [email protected]