Kitty Powers' Matchmaker Review

Cheers, loves. Looking for snuggles, cuddles, and beyond? Miss Kitty Powers is ready to hook the lovelorn up with the good stuff in Kitty Powers' Matchmaker.

Well, to clarify, Miss Kitty Powers will be on the sidelines offering advice - and snark. It's the player that needs to get their hands dirty by digging up clients' interests, matching up personalities, and finding them ideal mates.

Kitty Powers' Matchmaker is a dating/matchmaking sim, which isn't a rare species on mobile platforms. What makes it special is its fast pace, its payoffs, and above all else, its wildly weird sense of humor.

Players are taken under Miss Kitty's spectacularly-plumed wing as they learn everything there is to know about making people flip for one another. Lovesick candidates shuffle into the player's office looking for the company of men, women, or both. Players must observe their client's traits and interests, then match them up accordingly. Oh, and bonus points if the client thinks their date is hot.

The magic doesn't happen by itself once everything on paper looks good, though. Players must serve as a presence during dates, which are actually a series of quick mini-games selected via a slot machine. Does the client want to tell their new love an amazing story? They'll bung it up unless the player can win a quick match of topic-related Memory. Can they remember what the weather was like when they pulled up to the restaurant (since, of course, the topic of weather occasionally comes up)? And - horror of horrors - do they know how to calculate a proper tip once the bill comes?

If the date goes well a second date may follow, or the new pair may decide they're in love right then and there. In time, they may decide to hook up for good, and will send the player a happy note declaring as much. The player's reputation goes up in these instances, which lands them more affluent clients willing to pay more. However, reputation takes a hit if the pair proves incompatible after all (which may happen if a relationship isn't built on trust - say, if the player encouraged their clients to tell a few white lies about how glorious their life is?).

Granted, Kitty Powers' Matchmaker gets repetitive at times. It gets more diverse as players level-up and unlock more content, but clients and their dates tend to repeat old dialogue (luckily, British slang is so delicious on its own). Once, I even wound up with the same two clients in my queue. It was bizarre.

Regardless, the Kitty Powers' Matchmaker's charm is addictive, and there is a definite satisfaction to seeing two virtual people hook up and then send out a note bragging about their five kids (apparently the breeding capacity of the player's clientele outstrips rabbits). Anyone aching for true love mobile-style should consult Miss Kitty for a cure.