With Scrabble’s newest update, I decided to give the official EA app another shot. The menus are vastly improved: though some things still don’t make sense, it’s a lot easier to jump into a game. The game’s speed has apparently been given a small jolt, too, and you can now use your own music. But what had me most excited was the promise of “push notifications.”

Okay, EA, for the love of god: are you trying to torment me? These so-called “notifications” don’t exist, as far as I can tell. They certainly aren’t push notifications. And yet, despite this, I receive occasional “tips” telling me to turn Push Notifications on in the Settings app. I’ve checked. There’s no option to do so. I don’t think I’m the only one, either: the current version is being bombarded with angry 1-star reviews in the App Store. I’ve tried restarting my iPod and reinstalling the app; nothing changes in my Settings menu.

I’m not sure if EA submitted the wrong app version or if maybe there’s a bug on certain devices. (I’m running a 2G iPod Touch with 8GB of storage.) But either way, this is strange. Shame on you, EA. I got excited over nothing at all.