iSamJackson

Let me set the record straight, soundboard apps are the devil. They started many moons ago with fart sounds and have since morphed into all sorts of succubus like horrors such as Snoop Dogg's iFizzle (ok, this one's slightly awesome), iDaft (also a bit awesome), and 50 Cent "Baby By Me" Sound Lab (not even the slightest bit awesome). Every tiny ounce of me wishes that these apps would just vanish without a trace, but then I run into apps like iSamJackson. In one brilliant swoop, my iPhone went from being a sad phone call machine to an entire speech replacement device. I'll explain.

I sat down this morning to a cup of coffee, only to spill it on myself. A normal person might do something silly like opening their mouths, but being the app guru I am, I whipped out iSamJackson and hit, "F%&$ no, that s&$% did not just happen!". Poignant... the perfect amount of emotion for a spilled morning cup of joe. The person I was with (we'll just call her 'Z') says, "Why did you just use Samuel Jackson's voice instead of your own?". Without hesitation, I hit, "This is my normal voice!". I was looking for something epic like, "Cause that's how I talk! You ain't never seen my movies!", but alas, I was stuck with only normal Samuel Jackson quotes, not amazing Chappelle impersonations. With a look of disgust, Z says, "you shouldn't do that anymore, it's embarrassing." How could someone accuse me of being embarrassing. Me?!?! I thought to myself, what would Sam Jackson do? Get mad! With a slight tap of my finger I hit, "I don't recall asking for your f&$@ing opinion!". Everything is gold when it's said by Samuel Jackson. Everything.

Needless to say, there are a ton of different sound clips... one for almost any situation out there. Scratch that, there is a sound clip for every situation, bar none. On top of the fantastic soundboard, there is an awesome magic 8-ball tab where Samuel Jackson answers your most personal questions with brilliant responses like, "That is, without a doubt, the dumbest question ever." and "F$%& yeah!". Truly mind blowing. There is also a thumb scan tab that acts more like a "Please Sam, insult me" tab. He hurt my feelings one too many times today, so this section is dead to me. Dead I tell you.

As far as soundboard apps go, this one is probably in the top 3. It's not quite as good as the brilliant iDaft, but it makes some of the rest look like Samuel Jackson's mutilated carcass in Deep Blue Sea. At $2.99, the price is a bit steep, but for those of you who just can't quite get riled up like Sam Jackson and need a spurt of rage, this one's a gem.